On infertility

To the momma that is struggling:

You are not alone. I’ve been there.

I know the drill. The countless evening routines of progesterone shots, and icing until you are numb.

The countless procedures after it doesn’t work again, cycle after cycle after cycle.

Filling needle bin after needle bin.

Wishing jar, after wishing jar.

The days spent on the couch because you are just too tired to move.

The mood swings of up and down, and arguing about things that aren’t even related to what you really want to say.

Inside you are screaming, asking yourself why your body won’t let you get pregnant and stay pregnant.

I see you. I hear you.

I feel what you are feeling.

I have been where you have been.

This “too shall pass” the saying goes,

But will it? You wonder, over and over again.

You can’t know that answer yet,

you will just have to see what happens.

Prayer after prayer, and then it comes true.

A new life begins, inside you.

So much doubt….still remains.

Will I ever just be happy and less anxious?

Will I ever be content where I am?

Learning to be content, in the moment, just now.

Focusing on the present, is the one thing in treatment that you can control.

You are not alone. You are loved.

This moment will be the one that heals you, and you will look back on it and realize you can help others by going through it. Keep looking ahead.