Detaching from social media made me fall back in love with my life—exactly as it is

Most days, I find myself with little free time. My hands are occupied with caring for my two and three-year-old sons, managing a full-time job and navigating the complexities of single parenthood. Over a year ago, I decided to deactivate my social media accounts and discovered just how much of my time had been consumed by mindless scrolling. This decision transformed my life, allowing me to find joy and individuality in my journey through motherhood.

Peeking into the lives of others can be enjoyable, but for some, like myself, it can also foster unhealthy comparisons. During the boys’ naptime, I’d scroll through social media and find myself feeling increasingly detached and irritable. 

Before becoming a mother, I took periodic social media breaks lasting six weeks every quarter. During these breaks, I logged off apps and removed them from my phone. This practice proved effective, allowing me to focus on more meaningful pursuits.

Now I’m living as a millennial mom without social media—who would have thought? 

Before deactivating my social media, I unknowingly adopted the belief that motherhood adhered to a one-size-fits-all model—something I soon realized was far from the truth. I found myself comparing my life to the seemingly flawless two-parent households showcased on my timeline. 

In the early days of motherhood, I remember feeling consumed by the pressure to “snap back” quickly. Despite having difficult pregnancies—countless hospital stays, bedrest, two cesareans within 11 months and postpartum depression—I was incredibly hard on myself. Social media showed other new moms already back at the gym, walking with their babies and quickly losing the pregnancy weight. This was completely opposite from my experience, and it  only made me feel worse.

One afternoon, as I settled onto the couch with my phone after putting my boys down for a nap, I stumbled upon a post from a mom influencer. Her picture-perfect home, immaculate kitchen and meticulously planned outings starkly contrasted with my reality—a living room strewn with toys and a bedroom floor buried under piles of laundry.

Another day, while my boys were engrossed in play, I found myself envious of a friend’s recent vacation photos. Her radiant smile and carefree demeanor made my own situation—the fatigue of single motherhood and the monotony of my daily routine—feel even more terrible. These comparisons took a toll on my mental health and physical well-being.

Stepping away from social media allowed me to rediscover the beauty in the unique moments of my own life—the infectious laughter of my youngest son when his brother makes silly faces or the pride shining in my oldest son’s eyes when he achieves something new. These moments, while not always picture-perfect, hold immense value and authenticity.

Detaching from social media reminded me that there is no singular “right” way to be a mother, and that’s perfectly acceptable.

Whereas before I felt compelled to document every milestone, I now find myself fully present in each moment. From first steps to potty training, from bidding farewell to pacifiers to first haircuts, every experience has become profoundly meaningful. Once I stepped away I realized how much of my children I had shared online and wished I could retract it; I’d ask for their permission before sharing intimate health details or posting pictures and videos. I’ve resolved to take this approach if I ever return to social media.

This newfound freedom from social media also had a tangible impact on our household routines. With newfound clarity and focus, I found myself able to accomplish much more— culminating in the completion of my master’s degree.

Stepping away from social media has enriched my life in ways I never anticipated. It has allowed me to focus on what truly matters—fostering deeper connections with my children and enabling personal growth. For anyone feeling overwhelmed by the pressures of social media, I encourage you to consider taking a break. You might just find the joy and individuality you’ve been missing.