Building emotional resilience in the most difficult times

One thing I have been deeply reminded of over the last few weeks is that sometimes, despite what the positive mindset gurus would have you think, changing your thoughts about something is not the answer.

I would not want to change my thoughts in order to feel better about what’s going on in the world right now. As a mother, the videos, pictures and stories of children suffering have broken me. There is no way to change the way I am thinking in order to feel better. I wouldn’t even want to. I want to be outraged. My grief, my despair and the brief moments of hope all remind me that I am human.

I am compassionate and hate to see others suffering—a quality I think we sink into even further when we have our own children.

I wouldn’t ever want to change this. I wouldn’t ever want to become indifferent to what we’re witnessing right now. But, it is heartbreaking and hard to bear. I have had days where it’s been hard to carry out any task without a profound sense of grief.

So what can you do when you are in a situation like this and it feels so incredibly hard? As a life and mindset coach for working moms, here are some tips to help you stay resilient through difficult situations. 

Tips to help build emotional resilience

Sit with your emotions

Instead of trying to distract yourself or carry on as normal, learn how to sit with and withstand those emotions.

Use somatic practices

Use somatic practices like breath work, yoga and simply allowing yourself to cry rather than thought work to move and process what you’re feeling.

Face your emotions

Work on increasing your emotional resilience each day by learning how to face those emotions and not shy away from them, not distract yourself from them with buffering (eating, drinking, scrolling).

Name your feelings

Name how you are feeling, notice how it feels in your body, notice that no matter how hard it feels, it cannot hurt you. You are able to feel it and still be safe in your body. Become curious about it, what is it saying?

Feeling your emotions increases emotional resilience

Currently I am listening to my emotions, letting them guide me to act in alignment with my core values. When you shy away from your feelings, when you distract yourself from them, you start to take actions that are out of alignment with who you want to be. This is a huge source of overthinking and stress for many of us, and one of the main reasons it can be hard to switch off during busy days.

Our brains constantly push us to act in a way that feels soothing and gives us a false sense of safety rather than taking action that might be harder but feels more aligned with our true self.

Learning how to feel your emotions increases your emotional resilience to free your brain from endless cycles of overthinking, anxiety and guilt and will help you act in a way that feels authentic to yourself.

Learning how to be unapologetically you is the greatest gift you can give yourself and your children. Increasing your emotional resilience at times like this only better prepares you to support your children through their difficult times.

We all go through different kinds of heartbreak throughout life and our children are no different. So even if they don’t understand current world events now, there will certainly come a time when they need to navigate through an emotionally difficult time.

Emotional resilience is key for all of us. Our emotions can teach us important lessons about ourselves if we learn how to listen to them and, in order to do that, we need the strength to feel them.