The first time I went on vacation the summer after my son was born I realized something that never really sunk in before: Oh wait, this is exactly like being home, except someone comes in once a day to clean our hotel room (which, don’t get me wrong, is still very very amazing) .

I’m a mom at home and a mom at the resort too, tropical locale or not.

My son didn’t know we were supposed to sleep in on vacation. Or stay up late drinking too many margaritas (or in his case, watered down apple juice). He didn’t realize we should have quiet time in the afternoon for catching up on Instagram or digging into a good book, or lazily try to figure out which new museum to explore or store to check out to kill some time before dinner.

I love my child more than anything in the world, but he doesn’t know how to vacation. He just can’t hang. And that’s okay.

I want to enjoy summer and soak up every magical moment with him that I can, but I also know that as an imperfect human, as a random run-of-the-mill lady who needs to do stuff that’s fun for me not just as a mom , I need to make time for adult summer activities, too. Because I have to fill my cup too (with rosé, perhaps?).

So, here’s my summer bucket list full of non-kid-friendly activities. Because mama needs a break:

By myself

1. Sleep in until 11 am. Or wait, noon . (Who do I think I am?)

2. Read three non-picture books. One preferably with a shocking twist.

3. Spend too much time painting my nails.

4. Try a new shade of lipstick (something bright? Maybe coral?)

5. Eat ice cream without having to share

6. Walk around without a purse, or extra snacks, or extra bottles of water

7. Take a nap in the sun

8. Ditch my phone for 12 hours

9. Get a massage

10. Go for a bike ride without any specific destination

11. Go somewhere I’ve never been and explore on my own

12. Self-care-palooza: haircut, man/pedi, the works

13. Get a new tattoo

With my husband

14. Go on a mini-adventure: hiking to find a waterfall, finding a random swimming hole, or even just a regular day trip somewhere a little far from home

15. Skinny. Dipping.

16. Rent a scooter or a jet ski

17. Stay up past midnight, perhaps enjoying a cocktail or, you know…

18. Cuddle by a bonfire, celebrate with s’mores

19. Have a picnic of just cheese + wine

20. Watch a free movie in the park

21. Go kayaking together and get lost for an afternoon

22. Go to the drive-in

23. Cook or bake something complicated and enjoy it together

24. Learn how to surf together

25. Sit out in the yard and star gaze

26. Split a banana split

27. Slow dance together

With my friends

28. Have a weekend away

29. Wear those ridiculously creepy face masks and take selfies

30. Find a new favorite brunch place

31. Try out a cooking class, or sewing, or flower arranging

32. Go to a baseball game

33. Visit a winery (or three)

34. Go bowling

35. Rock coordinating swimsuits

36. Do touristy-things unapologetically

37. Go to a concert and sing loudly along

38. Talk all night until the sun rises

What’s on your list?

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