Jade and Tanner Tolbert, parents of 3, have an “intimacy schedule”

It can be hard for parents to keep up a romantic connection once kids come into the picture, and when that picture includes three little ones, it can be even tougher. Here’s an idea: an “intimacy schedule” like Bachelor franchise alums Jade Roper Tolbert and Tanner Tolbert have.

During an Instagram Q&A this week, Roper Tolbert was asked if she and her husband still had the intimacy schedule she had mentioned once, and the mother of three answered, “Haha, yes we still do right now. Life is crazy and sometimes it just needs to be scheduled, because it’s important to us to keep that connection and sometimes it only happens that way. Tip: keep it flexible to be sensitive to each other’s feelings and needs, too though. ”

Roper Tolbert, whose youngest child Reed was born in November, also talked about why you should “keep dating” your spouse in the same Q&A. “We try our best to keep it a priority.”

We get it—it’s rough trying to make time to be together, and sex, when you’re both exhausted and busy, can be the last thing on your mind. In fact, our 2021 State of Motherhood survey discovered that 41% of mothers said they were having less sex in the past year. What to do when you’re burned out but missing that connection? Roper Tolbert’s scheduling is one solution, while we also have some advice for reconnecting with your partner after having kids.