It’s science: Valentine’s Day prompts a November baby boom

Yes, all the date night vibes on Feb. 14th lead to a mini baby boom after Valentine’s Day.

I’m just going to lay it out there: My son was born on Nov. 12. My daughter was due on Nov. 11 (but decided to come early). My own birthday is Nov. 14—exactly nine months after Valentine’s Day. Clearly people in my family are more into the holiday than I’ve let on.

It seems we’re not the only ones.

The mini Valentine’s Day baby boom, explained

According to 2015 data from England’s National Health Service, some 16,263 babies were conceived during the week of Valentine’s Day. That’s up a full 6% from the average during other weeks of the year. In fact, the only time the spike is higher is during the week of Christmas, which explains why September is the most popular birth month.

According to the NHS figures, the conception rates hit a year-long low just two weeks after Valentine’s Day. This explains all those November birthdays—it’s a veritable baby boom after Valentine’s Day.

Tips for reconnecting on Valentine’s Day

While not every couple loves the hype around Valentine’s Day, it still can be a time to reconnect with your partner, whether that means a much-needed date night, trying out sex toys as a couple or exploring CBD and sex.

If you’ve been struggling with your relationship, all the emphasis on flowers and romance might feel grating. Consider reading up on marriage myths for reminders on what contributes to a strong partnership and why there’s no such thing as happily ever after.

For some mamas, focusing on true self-care might be the secret to feeling the love on Valentine’s Day and beyond.

Putting the emphasis back on pleasure

We’re can’t stop singing the praises of Motherly’s This Is Motherhood podcast episode with sexologist Shamyra Howard, who shares so many amazing insights into sex and intimacy after kids.

“…we have to talk about what pleasure looks like for each person outside of sex,” says the licensed clinical social worker and author of the book “Use Your Mouth.” “And then bring that to the bedroom.”

Howard says to ask, how do we “cultivate pleasure in our everyday lives? And so once we start focusing on pleasure, then we recognize that pleasure is my birthright. And when we have pleasure in abundance, we’re good.”

We have to talk about what pleasure looks like for each person outside of sex.

– Shamyra Howard

She continues, “It’s an act of revolution, especially for Black and Brown people to do things that are enjoyable, not just because you have to do things because you want to, just honoring the privilege of being able to sit in the tub, honoring the privilege of being able to go on a walk, [to] go to lunch by yourself…”

Taking some time answer the question “what does pleasure look like for me?” can be a powerful step toward increasing self-love and being present in your relationship long after February’s bouquets have wilted.

Loving our tradition of November babies

Still, there can be something special about the Valentine’s Day baby boom. “Love is most definitely in the air at this time of year,” Sarah-Jane Marsh, Chair of the Maternity Transformation Programme at NHS England, tells the Telegraph. “It is fantastic to learn that the NHS sees a mini-baby boom nine months later, bringing with it great joy to families across the nation.”

That’s certainly been true for my family—although we now know to be *extra* careful this time of year if we aren’t planning to welcome another November baby.

A version of this post was originally published February 16, 2018.