Home / Life ‘Wow, you sure have your hands full’ I chose these kids and I chose this life. By Jessica Cushman Johnston July 31, 2017 Rectangle There I am, standing in the checkout line. One child is having a meltdown because they want a soda and the other one is doing aerial spins in the aisle. She is seconds away from taking out an elderly gentleman. He will never see it comingâsheâll take him out right at the knees. I grab her, which is kind of like capturing a demonic butterfly. I wrangle her and pin her between my legs. The cashier tells me the total and I open up my purse. Dang. There are like 400 receipts, 5 hot wheels, 2 graham crackers and mass amounts of tampons to dig through. I imagine the people behind me sighing. Half a chocolate chip cookie and a sock fall to the ground as I finally pull it out triumphantly. How you like me now? While I swipe it I think, did I transfer that money? I canât rememberâŠfingers crossed. I hear the receipt printing as the three-year-old shrieks for the thousandth time, âTHIRSTY! THIRSTY! THIRSTY!â I want to be like, âListen guys donât call the authorities, itâs high fructose corn syrup sheâs after.â I take a second look at the people behind me though, and none of them look fooled. They all look like either drill sergeants or high school principals. They also look like they would rather be on a space ship to Mars than behind me in line right now. I feel relief rushing over me as the cashier tears off the receipt and hands it to me to sign. It is only then that I hear the âMom. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. Listen Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom.â Itâs my eight-year-old. My eight-year-oldâs voice is like white noise to me. It has something to do with the toneâŠI NEVER HEAR HIM. It is possibly from all that Nelly I listened to in my teens. WHAT?! I ask very sweetly, because I feel very sweet when I am red and embarrassed and sweating profusely. âCan we getâŠâ âNO.â âWhat are we doing tomorrow?â âNO.â It is then that someone who had time to put on deodorant today says, âWow, you sure have your hands fullâŠâ and then laughs awkwardly like this is something I have never heard before. Listen stranger who is wearing clean pants, I have something to tell you⊠It has been exactly eight years since I have gone ANYWHERE publicly with my kids and NOT been told that. Eight years since I had my second son and suddenly my hands were âfullâ. This has been societyâs prime (if not only) commentary on my life. YES, I do have my hands full. Saying this is not helpful. I wonât clobber you if you say this and I wonât throw a moldy pb&j at you either. I wonât even be offended. But there are a lot of things that would be awesome to say, and this is not one of them. This is like saying to a person whoâs balding, âWow, no hair huh? Your scalp is shiny.â Here are a few ideas of other things to say: Your family is adorable. Especially that one whoâs red and screaming. I can tell youâre a good parent by the way you pinned your six-year-old like thatâŠdo you work out? You remind me of Wonder Woman because of how hot and strong you are. I like your yoga pants. Can I offer you a glass of wine? Listen people, I would even settle for a fist bump. Yes my hands are full, but this isnât something unfortunate that has happened to me like a house fire or a fender bender. I like each of my kids, in fact, I love them. They are treasures that have brought more joy to my life than I could ever possibly describe. This life is a gift that Iâm thankful for every. single. day. Some days, just not until Iâve had a hot shower and a glass of wine. No regrets. I chose these kids and I chose this life. Now if youâll excuse me I think Iâll do my bi-annual purse cleaning. Jessica writes at her blog Wonderoak. Follow her on Facebook and Instagram. The latest Motherly Stories To the mama without a village: I see you Viral & Trending This viral TikTok captures what itâs like to parent through exhaustion and mental health struggles Life Can men really see the mess? Inside momsâ invisible labor at home Life 7 months pregnant on the campaign trail: How motherhood has changed the way I view politics