Dear society—you only see me as a mom, but I’m so much more

When we go to social functions, the conversations I’m in usually revolve around my pregnancy or my daughters. And maybe it’s because of my current raging pregnancy hormones (currently 35 weeks pregnant!), but… I do get annoyed. I mean, these are not the same conversations my husband is engaged in. So it can be a little frustrating.

I get annoyed, whether anyone realizes or cares, because I am more than “just” a mother. I get annoyed, even though I know people don’t mean any harm by these types of conversations. But I am more than a woman carrying life inside her.

Actually, I am so much more.

I want people to recognize that and ask me about other things too.

I adore being a mom and I do love talking about pregnancy and motherhood. I love it so much that I have chosen a job that revolves around it.

But when I’m outside of our home—our home, which doubles as the space where I am physically living out the mom life as well as writing and editing and working the mom life—I want to be able to talk about and experience these other areas of life that are meaningful to me too.

Even though I am a mother now, I am still a person.

I am a mother and a wife.

I am a mother and a daughter.

I am a mother and a sister.

I am a mother and a friend.

I am a mother and a writer.

I am a mother and an employee.

I am a mother and an avid book reader.

I am a mother and an equal rights supporter.

I am a mother and a feminist.

I am a mother and a Celtics fan.

I am a mother and a member of the Beyhive.

I am a mother and a music lover.

I am a mother and a beach goer.

I am a mother and a woman who likes to cook (and eat!) and who has a love/hate relationship with working out.

I am a mother and a woman who still sings every word of ‘Shoop’ when it comes on the radio.

I am a mother and a woman who loves to travel and go to the movies. (Oh, and I’ll never pass up popcorn at the movies.)

I am a mother and a woman who enjoys a good hike, a trip to the lake, and fishing with my husband.

I am a mother and a woman who likes a nice glass of Cabernet or a really cold Tuckerman pale ale and thinks it tastes even better among laughter with friends.

I am a mother and a woman who loves to binge watch great TV shows, enjoys celebrity news, and likes to update her Instagram story throughout the day.

I am a mother and a woman who often can’t decide between Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia or Salted Caramel Core.

I am a mother and a woman who (for the life of me) cannot grasp the concept of curling my own hair, who loves a good red lip, and basically only knows how to do one “makeup look” despite having three very makeup-savvy sisters.

I am a mother and a woman who stays up too late, does not have a strong concept of time, and takes long showers.

I am a mother and a woman who adores Amy Poehler and wishes she could be friends with Donna Meagle from Parks & Rec in real life.

When we are pregnant and when we become mothers—it’s almost as if society decides that what matters most, always, is that we have children to take care of.

We experience a shift in our identity within ourselves and within the outside world, too.

This shift within ourselves, where we’re adjusting to the role of mother, is hard enough to do on our own, and it takes time. New motherhood can be overwhelming and all-consuming—we can sometimes feel like we’re losing ourselves in it.

Eventually we find our footing again and we come back to ourselves (or a slightly revamped, more awesome version), but somehow society doesn’t.

They still often see us as mothers first, then women.

It’s as if we become invisible because we’re hard to notice behind these cute babies we make.

But, we’re here. We are still ‘us’ inside.

We still have interests and hobbies and jobs and friendships and passions and dreams and goals—some that have absolutely nothing to do with our families and/or the fact that we’re mothers.

We just want you to peer behind the cute baby that’s in front of your face and recognize that. That’s all. Deal?

I mean, we know they’re cute, but so are we. Plus, we want to talk about what just happened on Game of Thrones. So come on, let’s chat.