30 ultimate dad jokes for Father’s Day & all year round

"When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent."
I think most fathers would agree that one perk to being a dad is the ability to tell a cheesy joke and get away with it—a.k.a., classic dad jokes. And though we may roll our eyes (and yes, laugh a little), we’re better off just embracing dad’s attempts to make us laugh, as it’s practically the first chapter of every nonexistent “becoming a dad” handbook.
This Father’s Day, if dad is telling the same jokes you’ve heard over and over again, perhaps suggest he try some fresh material. I mean, if you’ve got to hear a dad joke, at least let it be a new one!
Related: 50+ holiday jokes that’ll have your kids (and you!) laughing
Get ready to cringe and chuckle at the same time with these 30 dad jokes, just in time for Father’s Day…
- “Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?” “In case they get a hole in one!”
- “What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?” “SoFISHticated.”
- “Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.”
- “What did one wall say to the other?” “I’ll meet you at the corner.”
- “What has more letters than the alphabet?” “The post office!”
- “Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.”
- “This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in.”
- “What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.”
- “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.”
- “Why don’t crabs give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.”
- “What happens when it rains cats and dogs? You have to be careful not to step in a poodle.”
- “What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.”
- “Can February March? No, but April May.”
- “What do you call it when a group of apes starts a company? Monkey business.”
- “Why do some couples go to the gym? Because they want their relationship to work out.”
- “My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.”
- “Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands.”
- “I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.”
- “I’ve been thinking about taking up meditation. I figure it’s better than sitting around doing nothing.”
- “How do you row a canoe filled with puppies? Bring out the doggy paddle.”
- “What kind of shoes does a lazy person wear? Loafers.”
- “Shouldn’t the “roof” of your mouth actually be called the ceiling?”
- “What kind of car does a sheep like to drive? A Lamborghini.”
- “When you have a bladder infection, urine trouble.”
- “What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1”
- “What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.”
- “Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.”
- “How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.”
- “How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.”
- “When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.”
A version of this post was published May 12, 2021. It has been updated.