A letter to my younger self on the day my daughter was born

Hi, beautiful: Today is the day!

Listen, this is going to be one of those days you look back to and mark in your life as the day when everything changed.

I know you’re so scared of the pain.

I know you’re scared you’re going to push out some other, smellier things along with the baby and the doctors, midwives, and nurses will judge you because you might be the first women that happened to.

I know you’re scared of the needles that might pierce your skin and stay inside your body, pouring in drugs that will do things you don’t know or understand.

I know you’re not even fully aware of how many people will look and feel inside your vagina.

None of it will feel right.

Listen, things are not gonna happen as you imagine they will.

Some things will be better, and others will be worse, but nothing will happen as you hope it will. Because if it does, all you do is show up like you rehearsed in your mind and stay where you are. To be granted access to the next level, you must burn every illusion and expectation of how life is supposed to take you through this experience.

This, my beautiful woman, is a freakin’ transformation! And it’s your transformation!

It’s going to be hard, but listen: Don’t worry about other people!

The pain and panic you will see on your husband’s face is only the helplessness of not being an active part in helping you bring this baby into the world. Don’t think that if he sees your baby being born his passion and desire to ever have sex with you will die. Passion is an ever-changing fire. It is like a Phoenix, and it will be reborn in another shape. Being stressed about him is not your responsibility! He is entitled to a transformative experience, just like yours. Don’t try to shield him from it or try to alter it. It’s not your job!

Don’t worry about the poop. It may or may not come out. The doctors, midwives and nurses will be gracious and not even bring it up. Only you are thinking about it. But if that’s your mantra and helps you cope, go ahead and use it.

Thinking about the staff in the hospital and how they might feel through YOUR birth is not your job!

Nobody can feel what you feel. They might have seen it thousands of times, and they might have done it themselves, read about it or watched numerous YouTube videos of other women doing this in various places and at various intensities. That’s not you! YOU are going through it and nobody else! When you have a chance between those contractions, close your eyes and just FEEL what is happening inside your body.

The baby is doing her part of coming into the world. This is her journey! Don’t doubt that she has to go through this. Whichever way it will be happening, she is doing her best. And you are doing your best. But the outcome is not something you can control or change.

If there was ever a contest, you already won because you showed up and had the courage to create life.

What happens today can be the greatest success of your life or the biggest failure. You decide. Nobody else!

Don’t hold your breath! Don’t hold your fear! Don’t hold your words! Don’t hold anything inside!

Today is the day your daughter will be born. And also the day when you are born a new woman.

Whichever way this baby will come into the world, you are not a failure! She is not a failure! You are both miracles and everything that happens today is magic.

Today is going to be hard, but YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS! ?