Dear Baby, I did not know I’d give you all of me

Dear Baby,

When I first held you, I did not know I’d give you all of me.

My thick, shiny hair now fills my brush as I clip back small strands of baby bits that fray around my face.

My perfect, taut skin that once covered a firm tummy now soft to the touch, a place you once called home.

My strength both mental, emotional and physical, those first few months changed me in unimaginable ways.

My dewy complexion, a little more tired, some wrinkles from long nights and sometimes longer days.

My boobs, oh those things that I didn’t appreciate enough, the way they were in all their perfection, I wish I knew.

My mental schema, questioning who I am now a fragment of who I used to be.

I received a tiny life, I got you baby, but what many don’t see is that your life is quite literally cut from my cloth.

From my hair, my skin, my undeniable strength, the arms that rock you, my emotions, my entire body…

I quite literally give it all to you. Because all of who I am loves all of you little baby, and now I have to learn to love myself again.

And when you cry and I rock you and say “shhh it’s okay” sometimes I feel I am also telling myself… it will be okay.

To the postpartum mama…it will be okay.