Childcare costs are impacting every aspect of moms’ lives

Moms were hopeful as they tuned into the second presidential debate Tuesday, Sept. 10. Maybe this would be the time that candidates “answered the damn question,” something that MomsFirst founder Reshma Saujani has been asking for since the first debate.

MomsFirst, an nonprofit advocacy group, successfully petitioned CNN to ask the candidates about their plans to address childcare during the first debate, but the candidates spent mere seconds discussing before turning to their golf scores. 

The question wasn’t asked at all, however, in the second debate, which still leaves parents wondering how candidates would plan on addressing the soaring costs of childcare. 

According to a report by KPMG, childcare costs are outpacing inflation by almost double the rate. Childcare is no longer considered affordable in any state, and the cost and accessibility of finding consistent care is a major source of stress for parents.

The overwhelming majority of voters want candidates to have a plan about how they’d address the issue of childcare, the First Five Years Fund found earlier this year. We are overdue for candidates to share how they would address the childcare crisis.

To illustrate the need, we asked 14 moms to share how their childcare costs are impacting their lives. 

What they shared was gut-wrenching: We found that moms are leaving the workforce or compromising in their career, facing significant financial stress, uprooting their families and moving to try to find cheaper childcare—and even deciding not to have more children because of the costs. 

14 moms on how rising childcare costs are impacting their family

These responses are just a few examples of the struggles families are facing, but broadly speak to the types of issues candidates need to address.

I’ve had to liquidate my 401k to pay for childcare

“We have to work full time to afford childcare. We can’t afford to not work or work part time. Even part time childcare is too expensive for that. It’s been detrimental to our ability to save and I have had to liquidate my 401k. We are only having two kids due to this cost.” – Nicole, mom of 2

I have to choose between paying my electric bill and paying for childcare

“I’ve had to choose between paying bills or daycare so many times that I got utility shutoff notices.” – Kim L., mom of 1

Our life is on pause until our kids are out of daycare

“The rest of our life is put on pause until our kids are out of daycare. We can’t afford to buy a home, can’t go on vacation, eat out only one day a week and have to budget really hard for the holidays. We both enjoy our jobs and love our kids’ daycare but it’s hard missing out on moments with them and fun moments we could possibly have with the extra money if it was more affordable, like visiting family or going on vacations or buying a house.” – Maddie  K., mom of a 3-year-old and 9-month-old

I won’t be having anymore kids

“I have two girls and won’t be having anymore due to the cost of childcare. It makes me so sad that not being able to afford more kids is preventing me from having the large family I always wanted.” – Ana B., mom of a 2-year-old and 2-month-old

We wanted a third child, but wouldn’t be able to afford childcare

“The cost of childcare means we had to wait [to have] our second child and we will never have a third.” – Rebecca T., mom of two

I’m on extended leave—childcare costs would be more than what I make

“I am on an extended childcare leave from my teaching position as a speech language pathologist, mostly because it would cost me around $4,500 a month to put my two boys into daycare, which is more than what I make. I know you ‘aren’t supposed to think of it like that,’ but we are better off financially with me staying home. I have started to take on some private speech therapy clients and doing some IEP consultations. Childcare costs forced me to branch out professionally. It’s been stressful stepping out of my comfort zone and starting my own business, but hopefully it will be for the better.” – Brittany C., mom of a 3-year-old and 9-month-old

I had to leave my post-grad program and ended up out of the workforce for five years

“Affordable childcare could have allowed me to finish my post-grad program and continue my career path, one I had invested 6 years into. I was working on my post-grad when I had three kids in 2 years. The cost of childcare would have been at least $4,500 a month, which forced me to stay home. I had planned to return to work after one year—but then my son got cancer, so my childcare situation got complicated. I wouldn’t have qualified for any paid family leave if I went back to work since I hadn’t been working. I couldn’t go back to work and manage all the cancer screening appointments with the lack of paid family leave. I stayed out of the full-time workforce for almost 5 years, when I had planned on staying out for just a year—and I went part-time in order to adjust to the reality of cancer.” – Sarah M., mom of 3

I’m taking a longer leave to avoid paying $7,800 a month for childcare, but worry it’ll impact my career

“In New York City, I will be paying $7,800 per month for 5 months while my two kids overlap in daycare. It’s about $43,000 a year per kid. Thank god for universal pre-K in NYC starting at age 3. But the cost is absolutely bonkers. I managed to finagle a ‘long’ and fully paid leave [28 weeks] to bridge as far as I can since my oldest will go to pre-K next September, which really reduced the amount of months that we’ll pay so much [and then we’ll go back down to ‘just’ $43K for one kid in daycare]. But I fear that the long leave will negatively impact me career-wise. But it’s truly a financial decision to extend it as long as I can.” – Jill M, mom of a 2-year-old and 1-month-old

We are barely making paycheck-to-paycheck. It feels like we can’t catch up

“We are in an impossible situation with childcare currently: We have two in childcare. It’s $2,400 per month and that’s considered ‘affordable.’ I provide the main income of the household so I cannot stop working and my job requires me in the office every day, year-round. My husband is building his career as an electrician. Theoretically he would be the one who stops working, but that would completely stall out his career and any future progress for when our kids are not in daycare anymore. We are barely making paycheck-to-paycheck in our current situation and every time daycare is supposed to drop in cost because our kids have leveled up in age… they increase the tuition. We need a bigger house, we need more reliable cars, but we are essentially stuck until we can age out of this cost… which means we also have halted any and all convo of a third baby, which I have always dreamed of. Feels like we can’t catch up, let alone, get ahead.” – Kelly B, mom of a 3-year-old and 18-month-old

On paper it looks like we’re doing well, but I’m using my savings to pay for daycare

“I am basically using my savings to pay for daycare. My husband’s and my current income covers our mortgage and living expenses so I am using my savings to pay for daycare. It’s like karma where on paper we look like we are doing well, but then you dig in and we are barely scraping by. I grew up on welfare and there are days I feel we were better off poor than actually working decent jobs, which is super sad.” – Lisa L, mom of 2

I’m going to have to prioritize a salary over a job I want to pay for childcare

“We are considering moving to a different state for cheaper daycare options. If we stay in New York City, it may mean getting a nanny for two kids rather than sending both to daycare  and being more conscientious about other spending like groceries, takeout, entertainment or vacations, or even dipping into savings to make it all work. We recently moved to a new neighborhood to at least have a lower cost of rent! I’m also job hunting and feel I need to prioritize my salary over a job I really want or love so we can afford childcare.” – Maddy B, mom of a 21-month-old and a 1-month-old

I hate my job, but it’s worth it to save on childcare

“I’m currently working at a job I hate solely because my three kids get free childcare. We would pay $450 a week for three children. And that’s one of the cheaper options in our area. I will definitely take the job dissatisfaction over paying $1,800 a month on childcare. My oldest goes to kindergarten next year, then I have a 2-year-old and a 3-month-old. I might even consider quitting after the 2-year-old goes and finding childcare elsewhere for the baby. But we will cross that bridge when it comes.” – Alyssa F, mom of a 4-year-old, 2-year-old, and 3-month-old

I moved across the country to find ‘affordable’ childcare

“My entire salary was split between two nannies. Daycares in Los Angeles quoted me $6,700 a month for my twins, so I had no other choice. I left my upper six-figure salary to move across the country to be closer to family for easier help and where I won’t spend all my salary on childcare. My twins are now in daycare and it costs $2,600 a month. It’s still expensive, but nearly half of what I was paying. Being closer to family has made it more worth it but I do miss our life and lifestyle we had in LA prior to kids, and I’m having to piece together my career to make a similar salary to what I was making in LA.” – Victoria S., mom of twin 2.5-year-olds

We should have been able to afford a nicer house, but childcare costs prevented that

“We are not in a terrible situation [we don’t incur any debt] but if one of us lost our jobs we would seriously have to rethink things. We have a nanny for our son and the monthly cost is about 25% of our combined income, so it’s a lot. I think at this point we’ve just gotten so used to the expense we don’t really feel it, but I’m sure once we don’t retain her anymore it’ll be a huge relief. I certainly have thought about staying home, but right now I can’t justify it. We also just bought our first home together and we bought something much cheaper than someone with our income should be able to afford because the childcare cost is so high, so that’s an area we’ve for sure cut back on.” – Catherine A., mom of a 2-year-old