How to make your child feel powerful and heard

1. Try not to do anything for them they can almost do themselves.

When we do things for our kids that they are capable of doing on their own, we are telling them that we don’t feel they are capable just yet. In turn, this decreases their self-worth and confidence and leads them to lash out and search for more power. Our actions speak louder than words.

2. Establish daily routines and charts that your kids can follow and complete independently.

Work together with your kids to create morning and bedtime charts that they can follow on their own. When you do this, the chart becomes the boss and leaves you free of reminding. They’ll feel powerful knowing that they completed tasks on the chart on their own.

3. Give them room and space to succeed and fail.

If you are constantly reminding your kids to complete their charts, pack their homework and brush their teeth, how will they ever learn to remember on their own? Kids who forget often have parents who always remind. Try encouraging them to learn on their own. For example, if they forget their lunch or homework one day, don’t drive it to school if they could get by without it. If you do step in often, it can show them that you will always be there as back up—and that’s okay! But, letting them forget and learn from natural consequences will help them to be more apt to remember the next time. This is where the true learning and responsibility begins to grow. These are life lessons we need our kids to learn.

4. Offer opportunities to do more chores and help out around the house.

Working together to complete household duties gives our kids a sense of power, as it makes them feel needed. Kids as young as 2 years old can have age-appropriate tasks. Start small.

Have your kids put all their clothes in the hamper and participate in rounding up toys. As they grow, so will the list of duties. Soon you will have kids as young as 4 or 5-years-old vacuuming, folding laundry and taking out the garbage. The best part is they will be happy helping out. It won’t be a battle and you will have all hands on deck! Chores make you kids feel needed and a part of the family, which directly gives them power.

5. Create golden time.

This is the secret sauce to parenting. It is the simplest way to keep your kid’s attention cups full and will result in happy kids and happy parents. Follow the specific formula below and within one week you will see results.

Golden Time Formula:

1. Two times per day for 10 minutes (morning and evening)
2. One–on–one
3. Uninterrupted (no cell phones)
4. Doing something your child wants to do
5. Label it (let them know you are wanting Golden Time with them)

I dare you to commit one week to consistent Golden Time and your life as a parent will change, I have no doubt!