My professional priorities have shifted since becoming a parent–but not how I expected them to

There’s no way to know with certainty what it will feel like to become a mother, let alone what it will feel like to become a working mother. Once a child enters the picture, career trajectories can drastically be re-routed, new passions can surface, and priorities can shift in the most unexpected of ways. 

“Although I had a climbing career in corporate wellness, I had also always wanted to be a mom,” said Anna Bohnengel, Founder of Nourish Life Nutrition, LLC, who anticipated she would love staying at home to raise her children. “The reality was quite the opposite. I lost all interest in being a stay-at-home mom, and grew even more dedicated to my career; but with a whole new, entrepreneurial twist.” 

In fact, Motherly’s 5th annual State of Motherhood survey highlights the complexity of being a working mother in 2022 with only 11% of respondents saying they believed that becoming a mother has helped them excel in their career. Further, 30% of mothers said that their feelings of burnout would decrease if they could figure out how to better balance a career and motherhood.

Related: Here’s why the Great Resignation has been so much more complicated for moms

To get a glimpse into how professional priorities may shift unexpectedly after becoming a parent—and how there’s no one way to be a working mother in 2022—we chatted with 12 working mothers from the Dreamers & Doers collective. While each woman has diverse backgrounds and experiences, there is one common thread—it’s nearly impossible to anticipate the impact welcoming a new member into your family will have.

I started speaking up for things that mattered

“I began to use my voice about things that mattered—not just to me, but to the world that I wanted for my children. One of my biggest fears about my multiracial Black/Japanese/White boys is that they’ll leave our house and not come back, simply because of the color of their skin. But I also realized that many parents, and especially white parents, may not understand that fear simply because it wasn’t one of their own. So my co-founder and I set out to change that, intentionally and heart-led, through our voices and actions. When my kids ask what I was doing in this time period that has been so tough for all of us, I want to be able to tell them that I fought for them. Because I do, every day.” – Misasha Suzuki Graham, Co-Founder of Dear White Women, LLC

I intentionally set an example for working hard

“I used to feel bad about my daughter seeing me working a lot. But then I realized she needed me to set an example of what it looked like to work hard to manifest your dreams—even if it makes the people around you uncomfortable.” – Gabrielle “Gigi” Thomas, Founder and CEO of Gabrielle Thomas Consulting

My unexpected delivery experience led me to support women postpartum

“The birth of my oldest daughter via emergency c-section was not what I expected at all. I had a difficult recovery afterwards. That experience allowed me to see a major gap in how women are treated and what products are available to them during recovery. This led me to create my own company and eventually leave my 15-year corporate career to support women in a different way. The growth that has come from this both personally and professionally is more than I ever could have imagined.” – Mary Clavieres, Founder and CEO of Brief Transitions

Related: 27 things I wish I’d known before my C-section

I began to lead by example–professionally and peresonally

“My focus shifted from ‘What goals do I want for myself professionally?’ to ‘What kind of example am I setting for my daughters?’ and ‘How am I setting them up for more opportunities than I had?’ My priorities became leading by example, to show how fulfilling life can be both professionally and personally.” – Dawn Scott, Founder of The Empowered CPA

Creative expression became a non-negotiable in my day job

“I was really surprised that creativity became important to me in my work. Prior to having kids, I had time for creative hobbies. But I didn’t realize just how important these hobbies were until after I became a mom, and that was the first thing to go. I ultimately realized that I needed to find a way to feel fulfilled creatively in my day job.” – Marianna Sachse, Founder and CEO of Jackalo

I applied my professional experience to improve my parenting experience

“I’ve started using all of my accumulated years of professional experience to figure out how to improve my parenting and co-parenting experience. As a strategic planner and coach, I realized how much I craved a system that would help me get out of a sense of overwhelm in my parenting, and into the realm of living a life with children that matched my values. It’s amazing how easy it is to be swept away by the small and large demands of daily parenting, and I found myself wanting to apply my professional lens to make better sense of this chaotic new arena of life.” – Katie Crank, Founder and CEO of The Undivide

Related: This mom’s viral TikTok hack will make your child’s co-parenting schedule a whole lot easier

How much money I made became less important

“I thought that I would be able to continue balancing a high-powered career in consulting and be a great mom. Upon becoming a mother, I asked myself, “Is the money and prestige worth it?” And month after month, I felt myself increasingly not caring about how much money I made, how nice a meal I could eat, or where I could travel if it meant that I wasn’t going to be there for all of my son’s little moments.” – Shang Saavedra, Founder of Save My Cents, LLC

I swapped my corporate career for entrepreneurship

“I never thought I’d leave my much-loved corporate world that I’d been working in for more than 10 years before I had my first baby. Soon after being a parent, I shifted to running my own business. Entrepreneurship comes with all the highs and lows, but I love being in control of my schedule.” – Lorraine Wong, Founder of Cue North

I built a team culture based on flexibility and understanding

“Becoming a parent made me prioritize building not only a happy team culture but also one that is flexible and understanding. My own experience balancing work and my family made me realize that everyone on my team who is a parent is engaged in their own balancing act as well. I need work to be part of their life, but I want them to enjoy that part immensely and want to do it every day. I also want them to be empowered to put their kid’s mid-morning school play on the calendar and enjoy every second of it.” – Anouck Gotlib, CEO of Belgian Boys

Related: Forcing employees back to the office is insulting and harmful to working parents

I became more vigorous with compartmentalizing and time management

“My time is precious. As a new mom, baby comes first, but as a founder, my other baby, my company, also needs a tremendous amount of my time. It’s a very delicate balance. And I have really needed to compartmentalize. Having one foot in and one foot out with parenting doesn’t work. Becoming a parent has forced me to focus on what is in front of me at that exact moment and be extremely efficient with my time, when I have it.” – Lexi Aiassa, Founder and CEO of The Confidence Co. 

I became dedicated to my entrepreneurial career

“Although I had a climbing career in corporate wellness, I had also always wanted to be a mom. I anticipated that I would want to be a stay-at-home mom. The reality was quite the opposite. I grew even more dedicated to my career, but with a whole new, entrepreneurial twist. Rather than losing interest in my work, as I had anticipated, my drive for my work only deepened. Since becoming a mother, I have found myself more ambitious and laser focused on how I can make an impact than ever before.” – Anna Bohnengel, Founder of Nourish Life Nutrition, LLC

Flexibility at work became a non-negotiable

“I’ve gone from working for myself to working for others over the past few years. The one thing that’s been clear is the flexibility needed as a working parent. It’s important for me to have an employer and boss who understands work-life balance. Once you’re a parent, your child is your life.” – Marissa Pick, Founder of Marissa Pick Consulting LLC