‘We’re working for daycare’: How American individualism and economic forces are breaking families

If you feel raising kids today is an uphill battle, you’re not imagining things. Families with children under 18 are facing unprecedented financial and emotional strain, according to the Federal Reserve’s 2024 report on household economic well-being. And while inflation has somewhat cooled, the squeeze on parents hasn’t improved. Spoiler alert: It’s not your fault. 

A new report from MarketWatch highlights the economic cards stacked against parents and paints a dire picture. New research shows that life is so unaffordable, especially for families with kids under the age of 18, that it feels like “we’re working for daycare,” one mom said.

In 2023, only 64% of parents reported that they were “doing okay” financially, a sharp 11-point drop from just two years earlier. For comparison, 72% of the general population said the same. The disparity highlights a growing crisis: America’s economic system is failing families with children, pushing even middle-income households into a precarious financial position.

Related: Families are struggling to make ends meet more than ever—and something has to give

The DIY society

The U.S. economy wasn’t designed to support families—it was designed to lean on them. Decades of prioritizing individualism and corporate profits over collective support have left parents to shoulder the burden of raising children on their own. The Federal Reserve report lays it out starkly: families with kids experience significantly higher rates of debt, financial insecurity, and poverty than households without children. Even middle-income families struggle. In 79 of the 100 largest U.S. metro areas, the cost of basic necessities for a family of four exceeds the median family income.

Childcare is one glaring example. Parents are working harder than ever to afford daycare, with the median monthly cost reaching $800 in 2023—and rising to $1,100 for families needing 20 or more hours a week of care. For many families, these costs rival or even surpass their housing expenses, leaving little room for saving or addressing emergencies.

Jessica Calarco, a sociology professor at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, tells MarketWatch that this results from a policy failure. “We’ve left families to flounder because we want to pretend that we can ‘DIY’ society,” she says. That DIY approach has parents cobbling solutions to problems that systemic support could fix—like housing that costs less than half their income or schools that don’t dismiss kids hours before the average workday ends, leaving parents scrambling.

Related: ‘My salary doesn’t cover daycare’: A mom’s viral TikTok highlights the need to rethink childcare costs

Warning signs for well-being

It’s not just finances that are stretched to the breaking point. A recent advisory from the U.S. Surgeon General raised the alarm about declining well-being among parents and caregivers. The advisory stressed that while parents are primarily responsible for raising their kids, society must step up to share the load. Yet, systemic support is lacking.

The Federal Reserve report found that families with children are increasingly likely to face financial hardships like skipping medical care or being unable to cover emergency expenses. Among parents surveyed, only 56% could cover a $400 emergency with cash, savings, or a credit card they could pay off immediately—a significant drop from pre-pandemic highs.

Related: 1.2 million parents forced to miss work every month because affordable childcare isn’t available

A system stacked against families

The burdens on parents today are the result of government policy choices. Unlike developed nations that have embraced family-friendly programs like paid parental leave and universal childcare, the U.S. remains an outlier. Government spending on child-related programs is just 0.3% of GDP, less than half the OECD average. And while raising a child to 18 now exceeds $310,000, support systems like tax credits, daycare subsidies, and affordable after-school programs remain woefully inadequate.

These shortcomings aren’t just hurting parents—they’re also failing our future. Falling birth rates and declining well-being among families aren’t individual failures; they’re symptoms of a broken system. “This is a deeply unsustainable model,” Calarco told MarketWatch, adding that the current system disadvantages everyone, particularly women and lower-income families.

The cost of doing nothing

The Federal Reserve report and the Surgeon General’s warning underscore the urgent need for change. Families with kids aren’t just struggling—they’re drowning. From skyrocketing housing costs to daycare expenses rivaling monthly mortgages, the pressure to make ends meet pushes many parents to the brink.  We need creative solutions, social change, and policy commitments to lighten the load and bring hope to our literal future—the next generation of citizens.

Related: Research shows American families are going into debt just to cover groceries

Sources:

1. U.S. household’s economy. The Federal Reserve. 2024. “Economic Well-Being of U.S. Households in 2023.” 
2. U.S. economy and parents. MarketWatch. 2024. “How the U.S. economy became so hostile to parents — and who benefits.”
3. The rising cost of living in the U.S. MarketWatch. 2024. “A $100,000 salary no longer buys you a middle-class lifestyle. Here’s why it costs so much more now.”