I captured the emotions of men while watching women give birth—and it was powerful
Kristie Perez
For every soul we create, there is a soul that we felt a connection with first.
Kristie Perez
[Editor’s note: This story is of a photographer capturing women and their husbands while giving birth. While this is one example of one type of relationship, we understand, appreciate and celebrate that relationships come in all forms and configurations.]
For every soul we create, there is a soul that we felt a connection with first.
The one who helped us create life.
The one who watches on helplessly while the woman he loves, moans and howls through labor stages giving birth.
While we have always put each other first, mother nature drifts in to place him in the backseat while he watches them transform into one other. All without needing his assistance.
At every single birth I have attended, the men are in the background, even if they are up close with their women.
They are actually stronger than they realize.
Carrying the irony in their faces of being able to fix everything yet somehow not able to “fix” our pain and discomfort during birth.
It’s not even the fact that we need to be saved but that they’re essentially powerless to rescue in a way that they are used to being able to do.
Their empathy skyrockets in a manner that most of them have never experienced, yet they stay silent.
They do not make the situation about themselves.
Nor do they panic.
They are anxious.
Worried.
Frustrated.
They do their best to not let on.
I make occasional eye contact with them to telepathically tell them that she is okay.
She will be okay.
Words are rarely spoken.
Whether through caressing us through our experience or respecting our space, they are in the shadows, observing.
Witnessing two or more people being born.
They watch the women they once knew being birthed into who they are now.
It is illogical to think that the men we love & choose to be present do not experience a beautiful and gaining loss as well.
They watch the woman they love turn into a stranger who is somehow still the woman they love after giving birth.
Paralyzed with the intensity before them, their empathy overrides their fear and they stay strong.
To these men, we see you and we love you.
The Strength of Fathers in the Birthing Room
In the birthing room, the father’s role transforms into one of silent support, their presence a pillar of strength amidst the intensity of childbirth. Photographs often capture their emotional journey—concern and empathy etched on their faces, yet a calmness in their demeanor as they provide comfort without a word. Their role may seem secondary, but it is crucial, highlighting a partnership in life’s most profound moments.
These images remind us that as a new life begins, so too does the father’s path, marked by an empathy and understanding that deepens their love and reshapes their identity. In these quiet hours, the strength of a father is as monumental as that of a mother—both vital in the dance of creation and birth.
If you want to learn more about the emotions of men while watching women give birth read Fathers’ Experiences during Delivery of Their Newborns on the National Library of Medicine.
We see and honor the men who stand by, their silent strength an integral thread in the tapestry of family life.
FAQ: Understanding Fathers’ Roles During Childbirth
What role does the father play during childbirth?
The father’s role during childbirth is one of support and presence. They provide emotional and physical comfort to their partner, offering a hand to hold, words of encouragement, or simply standing by silently, ready to assist as needed.
How do fathers feel during the labor and delivery process?
Fathers often experience a mix of emotions during labor and delivery, including anxiety, helplessness, and profound empathy. While they cannot take away the pain, their presence is a source of strength and comfort.
Can fathers help during childbirth even if they feel helpless?
Yes, fathers can help by being present, offering words of comfort, engaging in physical touch like holding hands or providing a massage, and following the guidance of the medical team and the mother’s wishes.
How can fathers prepare for the childbirth experience?
Fathers can prepare for childbirth by attending prenatal classes, learning about the labor and delivery process, and discussing the birth plan with their partner to understand how they can be most helpful.
What can fathers do after the baby is born?
After the baby is born, fathers can continue to support their partner by assisting with the baby’s care, providing emotional support, and helping with household tasks to allow the mother to rest and recover.
Is it normal for fathers to feel emotional during childbirth?
It is very normal for fathers to feel emotional during childbirth. Witnessing the birth of their child is a powerful and transformative experience that can evoke strong emotions.
How can fathers support their partners if they plan to be present in the birthing room?
Fathers can support their partners by being attentive to their needs, participating in breathing or relaxation techniques, and being involved in the decision-making process during labor and delivery.
What should fathers avoid doing in the birthing room?
Fathers should avoid making the situation about themselves, panicking, or taking any actions that go against the medical team’s advice or their partner’s wishes. It’s important to stay calm, focused, and supportive.
Originally posted on BoredPanda.
We’re convinced: There is nothing like the strength of a mama.
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