What I wish someone had said to me as a new mama

An honest letter from one new mother to another—

I know you are excited about your baby coming into this world, and you should be!

As scared as you might feel, I just want to let you know that this little person will absolutely change your life—for the better.

I want you to know that birthing your baby should come with a bright gold trophy to congratulate you. ?

It doesn’t matter if your birth doesn’t go as planned. It doesn’t matter if you need to change your plans from a natural birth to asking for medication, or if you wanted to have your baby vaginally, but you wind up having a c-section. Or perhaps birth just wasn’t what you imagined it would be. I want to let you know that you are not less of a mother or a woman. You birthed that baby with a strength you never thought would be possible, and now your little one is here.

No matter what happens, you are still the person that your baby needs more than anyone else in the world.

You are now a mother.

Knowing what your baby needs those first few days of life is no walk in the park. And how you feed your child is one of those tough decisions you will have to make. Breastfeeding may not come easy—if you choose to go this route, it will likely take time and practice. Seek help from someone who can guide you to learn how to do it.

I had to learn the hard way that whether you choose to breastfeed or formula feed, people will still judge your decision. But I have good news, too: there are people out there who will encourage you and love you no matter what, whether it be your partner, family, or even another mother who knows exactly how you feel because she has been in your shoes. You are making the best decision that you can for your child. Remember that you, too, are learning—that’s what motherhood is all about.

And then there’s sleep (or rather, the lack thereof). Waking up every couple of hours around the clock to feed, cuddle, and rock, even at 3 a.m., is something you have likely never done before. Can I tell you a secret? It’s okay to not like this at first.

Ask any parent how much they “loved” to be up every couple of hours to tend to a little person who yells a lot.

It’s okay.

It doesn’t mean that you don’t love your child.

And know this, mama: It takes time to create a relationship with someone—especially someone brand-new who is demanding so much from you.

But let me tell you, it gets better! It gets so much better. Your child, in what will seem like forever to you—but a matter of seconds to everyone else—will begin to recognize you and smile at you, and laugh and hold your finger with their tiny hands.

You will actually begin to feel like you’ve got this.

At first, it might seem like everyone else has got this whole parenting thing down and you don’t. However, soon enough, there will only be one person who can calm those cries: you. You will begin to recognize what your child needs more than anyone else, and it will be the most beautiful thing in the world.

What you do matters. It is one of the toughest jobs in the world. It’s also the most incredible experience of your life.

Welcome to the club, my dear. You are now a mother.