To my friends who don’t have kids—I miss you, and it won’t be this way forever

Facebook has this neat tool called “on this day,” that reminds me of all the memories that were created years ago. All of the beach days, concerts, nights out on the town and many spontaneous trips. There were many late nights, early mornings and none of us had a care in the world.

After becoming pregnant and having my daughter, the friendships slowly dwindled. Those daily phone calls and text messages slowly turned into weekly calls and then eventually into monthly. The careless young souls that we once were have changed and evolved into different people…most of us for the better.

Being a full-time working mother of two little ones, my days start bright and early, and after work it is non stop madness from dinner time, bath time and getting ready for the next day. At the end of the day after both kids are asleep, the exhaustion sets in and one on one time with my husband is on my to-do list.

Oh, and weekends? Now they are filled with memories we are making for the kids from birthday parties, trampoline parks, spending time with our extended family and working on that housework that has built up during the week.

I am sorry that it takes me days to respond to a text message even after a full conversation on my work lunch break. After lunch break ends, it’s back to work and then the nighttime duties start. I will often realize two days later that I never responded.

I am sorry that I don’t answer your phone calls. I have a very chatty 4-year old that asks 584 questions a day, especially when I am on the phone and she listens to my conversation. It is much easier for me to send a text and be able to respond at my convenience.

Thank you for welcoming me right back into your world when I am able to get a night out, and picking up right where we left off. Thank you for sending invites out over and over, and understanding when I say no 90% of the time.

I know that right now, at this point in time, the friend I once was who used to be able to drop anything to call you or make plans is no longer there. I acknowledge this, but things will not be this way forever. I am in the early stages of parenting, and these moments go by way too fast.

I have a 4-year-old who is independent but who needs me to mold her into an amazing little person, and there are many firsts coming for her. I also have a 7-month-old, who needs me for every little thing in life. It goes by way too quickly, and in the blink of an eye he will be getting ready for kindergarten like his sister.

The teenage years will be eventually upon us, and I will no longer be their favorite person and the one person they can always count on. The childhood innocence will eventually fade as well. I want to remember all of these times with them.

I will be able to be a better friend eventually, but please bare with me until we can get to that point. I miss our friendships and would love the memories to continue.

You will all have your own families someday, and I will remember the first crazy years, and I will give you space, offer help when needed, make sure you get those much-needed mom’s night out and remind you that you are a rock star, and it will get better.

Originally posted on Vacationland Mama.

You might also like:

• This is what friendship *really* looks like after kids
• An open letter to my pregnant best friend
• 9 simple ways to maintain friendships—even when #momlife gets crazy