Last month, a mom in Georgia was arrestedā€”yes, arrestedā€”for letting her 10-year-old son walk less than a mile into town by himself. A woman saw the boy walking along the road, asked if he was okay (he was), and then called the cops. Hours later, the mom, Brittany Patterson, was handcuffed in front of her other kids and taken to jail.Ā Ā 

Let that sink in. A kid walking alone in his own neighborhood was treated like a crisis.Ā Ā 

Hereā€™s the thing: life is safer today than it has been in decades. Violent crime rates have dropped significantly since the ā€˜80s and ā€˜90s, and according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, the roads are safer too.

But itā€™s easy to get caught up in the worries, especially with so much information at our fingertips. Research shows that parental anxiety has exploded, fueled by 24/7 news cycles and worst-case-scenario thinking.Ā 

This anxiety has real consequences. Jonathan Haidt, the author ofĀ The Anxious Generation, explains that kids who arenā€™t given independence miss out on crucial chances to build confidence, solve problems, and bounce back from challenges.

Without those experiences, they grow up more anxious, less resilient, and less ready for the real world. In trying to protect our kids, we can unintentionally hold them back from developing these skills.Ā 

I get itā€”itā€™s scary to let go. As a parent, finding the balance between giving my kids independence and keeping them safe is one of my biggest challenges. I imagine lots of scary things that Iā€™d rather not worry aboutā€”but at the same time, I realize letting them go is a natural part of the process.

My older kids are pre-teens now, and lately, Iā€™ve been realizing something thatā€™s honestly kind of wild: the risks of *not* giving them freedom might be bigger than the risks of letting them go. When my son walks to a friendā€™s house or rides his bike to the park, I can literally see him growing into himself. Heā€™s more confident, more capable, andā€”letā€™s be realā€”heā€™s way happier when Iā€™m not hovering.Ā 

We all have different comfort levels when it comes to giving our kids independence, and thatā€™s okay. We all want to protect our kidsā€”itā€™s what makes us good parents. But cases like Brittany Pattersonā€™s remind me how important it is to step back and trust them. The world isnā€™t perfect, but itā€™s a lot safer than we think.

Letting go can be hard and uncomfortable, but itā€™s a part of parenting that ultimately helps our kids grow into confident, capable individuals. When we gently release our grip, we may just find they thrive in ways we hadnā€™t imagined.

Sources:

  1. Mom jailed for letting her son walk to town alone. 2024. Reason. Mom Jailed for Letting 10-Year-Old Walk Alone to Town.
  2. Violent crime is near a 50-year low. 2024. Poynter. Joe Biden is correct that violent crime is near a 50-year low.
  3. The Rise in U.S. Traffic Deaths. 2023. The New York Times. The Rise in U.S. Traffic Deaths.