Should we really be worried about picky eaters?

Parent guilt can start even before you have a baby. It can start with your choices during pregnancy—did you eat enough fruits and veggies during those 9 months? Then, once the baby is here, there is breastfeeding/bottle feeding, co-sleeping/crying-it-out, maintaining a schedule/going with the flow. The bottom line? Parent guilt can rear its ugly head during so many stages of parenthood. 

Mom guilt doesn’t get any easier if you have a picky eater. That stressful feeling that comes about when your child refuses to eat anything but mac and cheese and chicken nuggets is all too real. Trust me, I get it. As a mother to a very “selective” 8-year-old daughter, I know firsthand the angst that arises when my daughter goes yet another day without even attempting to eat a vegetable. I wonder if I could have tried harder when she was younger to encourage her to eat more foods, if I should have never exposed her to the delightful taste of fast food French fries, if she will ever eat a salad by the time she goes to college. 

Yes, the mom guilt is real. But along with being a mom to a picky eater, I’m also a registered dietitian who has been practicing for over 20 years. And thankfully, because of this, I can talk myself down and remind myself that even if she is eating a limited diet, she is getting nutrition in her body. And the reality is, her nutrition gaps are simply not that extreme.

So do most parents of picky eaters need to worry?

Picky eaters may be meeting most nutrient needs

Since there is no official definition for the term “picky eater”, it’s important to remember that not all picky eaters follow the same dietary patterns. According to 2018 data, there is little evidence to show that being a picky eater will negatively impact a child’s growth in the long term, especially if they include food from different food groups. 

However, there are some children who are not eating enough variety to meet their needs. Extreme restriction of food can certainly have consequences. Because of this, some picky eating behaviors can be quite worrisome, and that’s when seeking support from a healthcare provider can be helpful.

But for kids who are eating sufficient quantities of foods and who are incorporating some variety when it comes to dietary intake, they’re likely to be meeting most of their nutrient needs. Kids who are classified as “picky” tend to eat fewer vegetables than “non-picky” kids, but their fruit intake seems to be similar. Meat intake tends to be lower among picky eaters, but grain and dairy intake doesn’t appear to differ among the two groups. Plus, remember that many grains (including our beloved pasta and cereal) are fortified with B-vitamins and iron. 

With regard to vitamin and mineral intake, studies have shown that the average levels of some micronutrients (i.e., zinc and iron) were above the recommended dietary allowance (RDA) or adequate intake (AI) for both picky and non-picky eaters, even though the non-picky eaters had lower intakes. In other words, both picky and non-picky eaters appear to consume enough of many nutrients, including many letter vitamins like B vitamins. 

Focus on brain-supporting nutrients

However, there are a handful of nutrients that are under-consumed more broadly across all kids, which is not specifically a picky-eater issue. For example, omega-3 fatty acids like DHA and EPA and choline are essential nutrients for brain health and development and are traditionally found in foods that many kids, picky or otherwise, don’t typically eat enough of, including fish, according to the Dietary Guidelines for Americans. 

Even adults are not consuming enough fish, leaving them open to under-consuming certain key nutrients. And when it comes to choline, a nutrient that can positively impact brain health, it is estimated that 90% of all Americans are not reaching the recommended intake. 

Kendamil

Kendakids Vita-Boost Shake

•

$13.99 for 6

Looking for a way to ensure your kiddo gets their essential vitamins and minerals without all the battles? The Kendakids Vita-Boost Shakes from Kendamil are designed for kids ages 3 and up and offer 27 different nutrients plus 9 grams of protein and DHA omega-3, in addition to prebiotics and probiotics–all without any added sugar. Made from grass-fed whole milk, they’re a delicious way to boost your little one’s nutrition, in three flavors even picky eaters will reach for: Creamy Chocolate, Smooth Strawberry and Velvety Vanilla.

SHOP TARGET

How to support picky eaters

If you are a parent to a picky eater, it’s time to stop the guilt cycle. While there are strategies you can adopt to help support your kiddo’s feeding journey, it is important to remember that in many cases, selective eaters are consuming more nutrients than you may realize. 

For example, many picky eaters are sticking to products that are fortified with B vitamins and iron (like mac and cheese and cold cereal). And even if they don’t eat vegetables, many of them will happily eat fruit. According to the USDA, based on the RDI for 4- to 8- year-olds:

• A cheese quesadilla provides 43% of the recommended daily intake (RDI) of calcium and 25% of vitamin B12
• A simple peanut butter and jelly sandwich on whole grain bread provides 35% of the RDI for folate and 35% for zinc
• Cheerios provide nearly 100% of the RDI for iron in a single serving, and just one serving of strawberries provides over 100% RDI of vitamin C 

Targeting where nutritional gaps truly exist in a picky eater’s diet is key. Of course, the ultimate goal is to see the child eating foods rich in nutrients they lack in their diet. Until then, it may be a better strategy to supplement a picky eater with nutrients that they aren’t already getting in their diet. 

For example, if you have a child who refuses to eat fish, broccoli and eggs, chances are they are not consuming enough choline or DHA omega-3 fatty acids, two nutrients that are incredibly important for a child’s brain health. Instead of a multivitamin with many nutrients that picky eaters are already consuming, it may be worth exploring an alternative supplement that contains choline and DHA, like Brainiac Foods Daily BrainPack for kids, to truly supplement with nutrients that the child isn’t already consuming enough of. 

To help ameliorate picky eating, aim to include repeated exposures to unfamiliar foods, practice parental modeling of eating fruit and vegetables and unfamiliar foods, and create positive social experiences around mealtimes. (Of course, we can always try sneaking a veggie into their fruit smoothie, too.) 

Remember, picky eating is common

It’s important to remember that picky eating is relatively common, and most children will eventually outgrow it. (Hopefully this will help you sleep a little better at night!) 

While it can be concerning to watch your child completely avoid certain nutrient-dense foods like eggs, fish and veggies, there are some steps you can take to help your child avoid nutritional gaps. 

Of course, any concerns should be discussed with your child’s pediatrician to ensure that the steps you take are appropriate for your family’s needs, as every child is different. 

Helping children on their nutrition journey takes patience and motivation. Just know that if you have a child who is not eating salads and salmon, you’re not alone, and with some tweaks to your current plan, you can help your child eventually eat more foods, and prevent nutrition gaps in the meantime.

A version of this story was originally published on Aug. 23, 2023. It has been updated.