Whitney Port opens up about the reality of raising a son after losing her dad

Parenting is hard, especially when there is a parent missing from your own life. Reality TV star Whitney Port is sharing that message with her YouTube viewers in the latest episode of her online series, I Love My Baby, But.

The Hills cast member lost her dad, Jeffrey, to cancer back in 2013. Port’s son, 3-month-old Sonny Sanford, will never know his grandfather.

“More recently, really since Sonny was born, I find myself missing him more and more. It’s unfortunate how such amazing times in one’s life, like getting married or having a baby, can be colored with such darkness,” Port, 32, told her YouTube viewers while feeding Sonny a bottle.

With husband Tim Rosenman behind the camera, Port lets the tears flow as she talks about losing her dad to kidney cancer the day before her twenty-eighth birthday, and how she wishes he could have been around for the couple’s wedding and Sonny’s birth.

“Like all those big moments were very bittersweet because I instantly thought about him and wanted him to be there,” says Port, who adds that when she sees her mom with Sonny, she wishes her dad could see his grandson, too.

In the video, Port talks about getting grief support for herself, and about how she plans to share her dad’s legacy with Sonny as he grows. She also discusses naming her son Sonny Sanford after her dad, as Sanford was Jeffrey Port’s middle name.

It’s an emotional video, but it’s not out of the ordinary for Port. Viewers of her YouTube series have seen her shed tears over her struggles with breastfeeding, and have seen her be very vulnerable when it comes to her feelings about her post-baby body.

The former reality TV star has been very real about the realities of early motherhood, and we’re sure her dad would be proud of the impact she’s having on Sonny and other parents. If you, too, have recently experienced a loss, a grief support group might help. Here’s how to find one in your area.